Remembering the Pain

Have you ever had a time that you weren't sure if you should include something in your scrapbook? Not because you weren't sure if the pictures were good enough or important enough... but because of the emotion involved or the "appropriateness" of the topic. This of course is a personal decision but one I'd like to share my thoughts on.

I remember when my friend Sandra did a page or two after 9/11 on this tragedy. She had literally taken pictures of the television while the horror was unfolding and then included journaling. At the time, Sandra was also a Creative Memories Consultant and when she showed her friends and customers, it raised a few eyebrows. But I thought it was genius! In situations like these, it's important to look at the big picture - who the "intended viewer" is. As much as we may enjoy the process of scrapbooking for ourselves, ultimately the goal is to preserve our memories for friends or future generations. Imagine Sandra's grandkids, or great-grandkids reading a hand-written account of that tragic day - reading their grandmother's words about how that was the the worst day we'd seen as a country.

I struggled with this type of appropriateness with my youngest daughter's baby album. I really wanted to include a page about her great-grandfather (my husband's grandpa). This was a man whom my husband adored - and who became deathly ill right before our daughter was born. Eight days after I delivered her, we drove down to Eugene to visit him in the hospital, so that he could see her. This man, who had been essentially out of consciousness for weeks, opened his eyes and smiled when we told him we had brought his new great-granddaughter to see him. He gladly welcomed the comment from my husband when he said, "now I'm just like you, Grandpa, the father of two girls!" Grandpa was more awake than he had been in weeks. Eight days later, he died.

So was that an appropriate page to include in her baby album? A personal choice, but for me - yes! Now, not that it was easy. In fact, I think I finished her entire baby album (first two years of her life) before I went back to "day 8" of her life. It was hard to relive that day. It was hard to journal about. It was hard to know whether or not I was doing the right thing. Would she care, 20 or 50 years from now, about this story? Well, she's 4-1/2 and already LOVES it! She talks all the time about grandpa-great in the hospital and how he got to see her before he died. She'll even get more from the story some day when she can read the "oh-so-well-thought-out" journaling that I included on the page. I made the right decision.

Of course the decision needs to be made individually whether or not you should include something in an album (or maybe make an ENTIRE album) out of something that may be painful. A loved one you've lost? A family tragedy? A painful day in history? You might even find that it's therapeutic to scrapbook or journal about. You may need to let time pass before you actually put something down on the pages - but remember, your efforts will help someone else, perhaps another generation, remember someone or something that was invaluable to you.